Can Pastors Have Friends?



I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Can a Minister have close friends?

See, as a Minister myself, there are times we need to talk to someone besides just God.

But, who can we trust with our private thoughts, emotions and personal lives?

Yes, we have our spouse, but, even our spouse needs a confident person to vent their feelings.

Still if I talk to someone in the church about things, what will happen?

I read an article and it had a startling quote in there from H.B. London, head of pastoral ministries for Focus on the Family. He disclosed that “at least 70 percent of pastors in the United States claim they have no friends.”

This is absolutely heartbreaking and unacceptable to me. No wonder most pastors don’t make it in ministry long. So why don’t they develop friends?

There’s tons of reason but here’s a few that come to my mind.

1) False Expectations: Many want their pastor to be friendly to everyone but close to no one!

2) False Assumptions: Many pastors have been told “You can’t EVER, EVER, trust people because they’ll use things you share with them against you one day.” (Side Note: Didn’t seem to stop Jesus.)

3) False Accusations: Many pastors will be criticized if they have close friends. If a normal person has close friends we call it healthy. If a pastor has close friends we call it a “clique.”

Pastors, don’t fall for it. You’ve been created for deep connectedness like everyone else. Develop and cultivate your close friendships (and encourage your spouse to do the same). You’ll need them. Every single one of them!“

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. These things I command you, that you love one another.”John 15:13-17

According to the New Testament Bible, Jesus said that His friends were those who kept His word, His sayings, and obeyed the things that He commanded (see the Gospel of John chapter 15). He also stated that His disciples, followers, were His friends. This includes the twelve disciples closest to Him, and those who were not included in that twelve such as Martha, Mary, Lazarus. Several women were also His friends in a sisterly way and they ministered to Him i.e. they would have helped Him with meals, sowing needs and such like. Their names were Susanna, Joanna, Mary (We see this in Luke 8:3). Those who follow Jesus are His friends—and the New Testament makes it clear that this includes those who follow Him today by obeying Him.

Blessings, Love and Prayers,
Pastor Pat Aman

Also, please know that:

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with Joy.
Philippians 1: 3-4

I end each message with “My Blessings, Love & Prayers,” I truly mean that, and I pray for each

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