I’m Tired and Weak Lord!

I’m Tired and Weak Lord!
Author: Pat Aman

This devotion is long. But, the best is yet to come at the end of the devotion. This devotion only tells about one-fourth of the circumstances of my journey, but I hope it helps you to hang on…

God’s got this……..

Have you ever felt this way?

I have felt this way many times. And it was not because I did not have faith in God, but my body had been ravaged with sickness and pain.

Judges 6:14-16 The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”“But Lord,” Gideon asked, “how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” The Lord answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together.”

I had been extremely active in my younger days. I played on our church softball team, Antioch Baptist Church for many years. I was the catcher, and this is hard. You are constantly up and down. You legs and knees are working overtime. As well as your arms, catching and throwing the ball.

I was also very active in my church, teaching Sunday School, youth ministries, Lay Ministries and Girls Auxiliary. And had a full time job.

In 1976, I met my husband and we then worked together in our own business, and were involved in our community, church and even sponsored a local baseball team. They were called Aman’s Auto Parts.

I also became the women’s coach for a local community team called Archie’s Angels. Named after Mr. Archie Parrish who owned the first Drug Store in Newton Grove, NC. The drug store is now under ownership of dear friends, Thomas and Son, Joey Williford.

I also was a full-mother, as well as working alongside beside husband.

We were active in our local church and active 4-H leaders. We were awarded Leaders of the year, by Governor James Hunt for our work with youth in the state of North Carolina.

I myself, also went to seminary studies through the International Pentecostal Holiness Church and received my Mission License, Minister License, Christian Education Credentials, and Ordination Credentials. And now my Doctorate in Theology and Biblical Counseling.

In others words many long years of studies and going through the Local Conference of the North Carolina IPHC, to take my tests. As well as going before the conference board to be accepted.

And back then you did not have computers to read and do testing on. You studies and read the books required and went personally to the conference office classroom and took your test in person.

I am not telling you this to brag, but to show you how active we were.

But, life started changing. We sold our business and my husband went to work with Best Access Systems, and now going on 36 years, he still works for the same company. I started teaching in the local county school systems.

God allowed me to also start a pre-school, school, After School Care, and Summer Camp for a local church.

But in 2002 my life started changing. I started teaching GED for a Community College. Everything was great, but then my health started changing. My colon rupture, In 2002 they removed 15 inches of my colon, an I wore a colostomy bag for a while, but praise God, I was able to have it reversed.
But because of this surgery, I with through several more surgeries and infectious diseases.

I no longer was able to work full time, due to my body slowing down because of my chronic illnesses with my intestinal issues.

From 2004-2006, I suffer through surgeries again. I ended up living over two years with surgical MRSA, then surgical E-coli. I had open wounds that had to be packed and dressed daily. I had drain tubes from several places in my abdomen.

But, again, the grace of God bought to through.

God allowed me to physically be able to travel back and forth to Louisiana to help my sister with my mama and her declining health. And the last six months stay a majority of that time with my sister and mama. Then our precious mama made her Heavenly Journey home in October 2008.

After then my health did pretty good. I was still able to visit my sweet sister in Louisiana and help her when needed.

In 2012 my body came to a screeching halt! Life as I knew it had ceased to exist, again. I was forcing myself to go and be active, but I felt like crap… There is no other word for it…

By this point I have had a total of over 12 surgeries. Hoping that there would be no more.

But, I started seeking a doctor to see why, I had gain up to 321 pounds.

Every doctor I went too, said they would not you touch me with a ten foot pole. That there was no help for me.

But, the last doctor finally said, “I know a doctor who I think can help you. He gave me his name, I made an appointment and when I entered his office, he looked and me, and said I was walking death.

He sent me straight to the hospital for tests. And the very next morning, I went into surgery.

The surgery lasted about 10 hours. . In this surgery the doctor had to repair my small intestines from letting food go back into my stomach. He had to bypass a large amount of my small intestines, and while the exploratory surgery was taking place, he found my liver had adhered to my stomach. He also was looking at the dead stomach, and staples from previous surgery in 1982. So, he repaired what he could to save my life. I died on the operating table, but, Father God said, no not today. So He gave my life back to me. But, I came out of surgery a very sick women.

They told my family my stomach had adhered to my liver. And everything I ate was going out of my stomach, into my small intestines, and then returning back into my stomach a fistula. I was literally being poisoned by my own body.

I stayed in the hospital over three weeks. They did not expect me to ever leave.

And on top of this, they were giving me a medicine that was making me have hallucinations.

My daughter keep telling then, that is not my mama in that bed.

They realized it finally. Narrowed down the cause, and I was able to think once again.

When the doctor came by one morning I told him I wanted to go home. They did not want me to go, but I was determined.

Now folks, God was still on His throne. He was working in the background.

My family was tired. My family was upset. They needed help. And God knew it.

We had good friends who were in the ministry. They were the Evangelist Singing Group, “Still Amazed.”

They called Joe and said that they had a couple weeks open in their schedule and they wanted to help. So, our precious friend took her time of rest, by flying up and taking care of me. And it was not an easy task.

I was not walking steady, not eating, and I was very depressed.

I felt defeat. I thought my life and ministry was over because of my chronic illness.

I was weary and tired. I was too weak and no longer as “stable are clear” minded as I used to be.

I had trouble remembering scriptures. I gave up.

But Praise God, he had other plans. He let me know that he was not finished with me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

God has allowed me to continue to do His work.

Coffee With Pat, is a glory to God. And writing books. Who would have ever thought I would write children’s books, and devotional books.

So, as I read in Judges tonight. I realize, when I am at my weakest, is when God is at his strongest. He is working overtime for me, and YOU!

Judges 6:14-16 we read that Gideon could only see his limitations and weaknesses in spite of God’s clear promise for strength, in so doing he failed to see how God could work through him..

Even though God promises us the tools and strength we need to serve Him, like Gideon, we often make excuses. When we remind God of our limitations we are implying that He does not know all our circumstances and challenges.

When life slaps us in the face due to health or other difficult situations in our lives, God will always open another path for us to continue to serve Him.

They say, I have one more surgery to go through. Well, maybe not. I know Father God will continue to heal my body.

I am so glad the Lord opens doors for me to serve Him in my life’s journey.

It does not matter how depressed, oppressed, weak, poor, sick, or whatever the challenge we may have, God will give us the ability we need right now to help us, build others up, and share to them, His saving grace and mercy.

But, now as on 1/1/2024, I am going strong. Now at 70 years young, I may not be in full speed, but, I am moving along.

With the help of Father God and trying to eat healthy I have lost over 140 pounds. I have been able to keep the weight off for the last 5 years. Some may look at me and say, “Pat you need to lose a few more pounds.” But, see Father God knows what my body needs and He gives me the ability to continue His Work.

And through Fathers God’s mercy and grace, I still travel and do Ministry.

We go to Restoration Church where I am blessed to be the Senior Citizens Pastor. S.W.A.T. Team (Servants With A Testimony,) and we are constantly going places and enjoying being a testimony for the younger generation.

In the last 3 years we have taken from 15-50 individuals on trips. We have gone on day trips enjoying the Beauty of North Carolina’s History. And we have gone on 5 days adventures to Pennsylvania and Kentucky to see the Amish Country and to the Creation Museum and Noah’s Ark.

And this year going back to Pennsylvania for a new adventure of the county side we did not see. And experience more old traditions of the Amish Order. And of course my favorite will be seeing the Live production of Daniel at the Site and Sound Theater.

I am honored our church supports us as we gather monthly with of Senior Adults from several churches in our area to feed the community Senior Adults and Fellowship together.

My children tell me, “mama, we love that you are in a church that is helping you to continue to minister and is keeping you young.

Oh, an as you all know, we have a new grandson who just turned 9 months old, so we need to be healthy and live a long time. I tell everyone when I turn 100, I am going to sky dive. Of course piggy back. LOL

BUT, again, this devotion is to let you know to keep going. Don’t Stop!

As I mentioned above, I realize, when I am at my weakest, is when God is at his strongest. He is working overtime for me, and YOU!

Father God has work for us to do.

Devotion Written By: Pastor Pat Aman Book © 1996/2024 “Coffee With Pat Daily Devotionals” “Coffee With A Little Spice Of Life” and Westbow Press a division of © Thomas Nelson and Library of Congress Control Number: 2018910976…

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